Self-Care Unapologetic Series: The Value of Dating Yourself

In a world where the constant need for acceptance is the norm, you have to care for yourself. Now, no self-care notes or compilation are ever complete without discussing the need for dating yourself. What does dating oneself mean? Dating, in general, has become a social norm. It helps to form, build and maintain relationships. After all, most marriages are brought about from dating. Now, not everyone has an opportunity to form or create meaningful relationships from dating. Some have tried so hard and have resorted to blind dating. For these people dating has become meaningless. For others, constant heartbreaks have eliminated their interests to date, other people. I honestly feel most people want to date to find themselves by trusting what others want instead of what they want. Expectations of others are really what makes dating hard.

How can one bounce back from constant disappointments of dating other people? The answer is quite simple. When you realize that you are doing no good dating other people, the next thing to do is to begin to date yourself. What does dating yourself entail? For one, it encompasses learning who you are. How? To answer this, one might go back to the aim of dating others in general. People go on dates or spend weeks and months to discover who their dating partners are and learn more about them. On dates, you learn about people’s backgrounds, likes, dislikes and many more. This is the same for dating yourself! Shocking, right! I hope not!

Dating yourself entails learning who you truly are. As we focus on all these we tend to neglect our essence. Dating yourself allows you to discover who you are and ascertain your priorities in life. It works because you are free from the influence of others and you have the clarity to come in terms with your goals and aspirations in life.

Dating yourself also helps you focus on the things you like. How? If you have time to focus on all the things you love and things you have been doing because you want to please others, think about what you can learn about yourself if you focus that energy on you. The time you spend dedicated solely to yourself is similar to when you go on dates with other people. Focus on what you like and dislike. Focus on what genuinely makes you happy. It also allows you to take a break and make time for yourself for self-care.

At this point, it’s best to answer the question of what is the value of dating yourself is that it turns your energy towards productive things. It gives you time to address loneliness, make and measure life decisions, and create or focus on your goals. It also helps you evaluate relationships and allows you to focus on what you like. Taking the time to find your passion, live without judgment, and focus on your mental well-being will be vital to building meaningful and productive relationships with friends, family, and partners. The biggest PLUS is each time you walk away with a sense of independence, confidence, and self-awareness.

So, get dressed (even dress up) and take yourself out. Paint the town solo in style and proudly!

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